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experiencelifemag.com
Print › | Back ›
5 Ways to Practice Happiness
When it comes to the quest for greater happiness, waiting and hoping are
out. Learning and practicing are in. Here’s how to create your own
happy reality - starting now.
By Joseph Hart |
July-August 2008 |
Getting Past Glum
A Look on the Bright Side
1. Your mental game matters, so shift your thinking
2. Don't count on more money to make you happier.
3. Apply yourself fully to whatever you do.
4. Embrace virtues, and enjoy their rewards.
5. Focus on relationships and cultivate community.
More Than a Feeling
Resources
We travel in search of it, marry for the sake of it, see
coaches and therapists to enhance it, switch jobs to capture it, and
sock away money to secure it. Yet, for many of us, happiness remains elusive.
And even though we spend much of our lives chasing happiness, many of us would
be hard-pressed to even define it in the first place. So what is happiness?
Where can we find it? And once we do, how can we keep it? These are
questions that have consumed philosophers, spiritual leaders and artists (to say
nothing of folks like you and me) for thousands of years. In the past decade,
though, the same questions have attracted the attention of a growing number of
psychologists, neurologists, and other respected academics and clinicians.
These researchers are turning their attention toward the mechanics and
chemistry of happiness, which they define (in simplified terms) as the emotional
experience of having a pleasant, engaged and meaningful life. And their findings
are having a dramatic impact not just on the field of psychology, but also on
the way many of us are cultivating happiness in our own lives. At first
glance, the notion of investigating happiness may not seem particularly
revolutionary. But, in fact, the new interest in happiness represents a
relatively contemporary shift in psychological focus. Historically, it seems
that psychology has been more interested in fixing mental-health problems and
illnesses than boosting actual happiness. And so the problems got more than
their fair share of attention.
Getting Past Glum
“Sigmund Freud famously
suggested that the goal of psychoanalysis is to make extraordinarily unhappy
people ‘ordinarily’ unhappy,” says Darrin McMahon, PhD, a professor of history
at Florida State University in Tallahassee and the author of Happiness: A
History (Grove, 2006). In short, psychology tried to make life tolerable for
people suffering from severe mental illness. Yet today most psychologists
don’t treat the severely mentally ill. Instead they primarily work with people
who are dealing with everyday dissatisfactions and worries, and the classic
“talking cure,” meant to remedy acute mental illness, remains stuck in the same
old Freudian paradigm. “As a clinician, I treated people with
depression and anxiety,” explains Andrew Shatté, PhD, a psychologist at the
University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia and coauthor of The Resilience
Factor: Seven Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles
(Broadway, 2002). “The way that we defined success was that people would come in
and we measured their symptoms: If they had 30 symptoms and we got them to five,
we called it a success. If we got it down to zero, we said ‘mission
accomplished.’” In other words, helping clients build more happiness into their
lives wasn’t part of the picture. But if plumbing the mind’s recesses and
dredging up past miseries doesn’t necessarily promote happiness, what can it
hurt? Perhaps a lot, says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of psychology at
Claremont Graduate University in Claremont, Calif., a prominent figure in the
study of happiness, and the author of numerous books, including Flow: The
Psychology of Optimal Experience (Harper Perennial, 1991). “Most people, when
they ruminate about the cause of their wretchedness, become more wretched,” he
says. “For most people, that’s just compounding their misery.”
A Look on the Bright Side
Shatté and Csikszentmihalyi are just two of a growing number of
psychologists who, as part of what’s known as the Positive Psychology movement,
have shifted their attention to advancing the knowledge of what makes us feel
satisfied, energized, hopeful — and happy. What they’ve discovered is that
while overall life satisfaction does have an innate component (some people
are just born happier and are wired to stay that way), happiness is also
something we can practice and cultivate. Happiness hinges on our choices,
attitudes and thoughts — and when we know more about how these choices,
attitudes and thoughts affect the quality of our lives, we have a powerful
recipe for cooking up more lifelong joy, meaning and satisfaction. Below
are five of the fundamental conclusions from “happiness studies” done in recent
years. Many of them sound like commonsense realizations — principles you’d think
that we’d all be acting on already. But when it comes to creating our own
happiness, turning common sense into common practice is a step most of us have
yet to make.
1. Your mental game matters, so shift your thinking.
Studies suggest
that each of us has a baseline for happiness. Positive and negative events —
winning the lottery or suffering a spinal cord injury are two examples that
researchers have studied — will knock us off our baseline. But over time, we
tend to return to roughly the same level of happiness, whether we are
millionaires or confined to a wheelchair. Where this baseline is set
involves our temperament and genetics as well as our fundamental belief systems
and thinking styles, explains Shatté. “The thing about our belief systems is
that they become habits of thinking,” he explains, “and often these thinking
styles are inaccurate.” To illustrate the point, Shatté describes an
experiment he frequently performs at seminars. He flashes a series of “word
jumbles” on a screen and gives attendees 12 seconds to solve each puzzle. What
he doesn’t tell them is that none of the puzzles has a solution. After several
minutes, he pauses the exercise to ask participants to chart their feelings
about their failure — frustration, anger, embarrassment. “Each specific kind
of feeling results from habits of thinking,” he explains. “If you think you’re
not as good as other people, you’re going to be sad; if you are looking for a
violation of your rights, you’ll be angry; if you think you will lose standing,
you’re embarrassed. The point is, every one of these thoughts was wildly
inaccurate, given the truth that the puzzles are unsolvable. We make
mistakes in our thinking and we pay a price for them.” The takeaway? People
who gain self-knowledge about their inaccurate beliefs and feelings, Shatté
says, can permanently lift their baseline for happiness. The more you understand
your thinking style and beliefs, the more you are able to see the inaccuracies
for what they are and be less affected by them. Happiness Practice: Pay attention to your instinctive emotional
responses and begin consciously challenging the negative thoughts and limiting
belief systems that underlie them. Develop a self-calming or hopeful mental
mantra (“Everything is an opportunity.” “I get to choose my responses.” “This,
too, shall pass.”) to get you through anxiety-ridden moments. (For more
suggestions, see “Three Deep Breaths” in the October 2006 archives.)
2. Don't count on more money to make you happier.
The relationship between
money and happiness is a complicated one. Some studies show that living in a
wealthier nation can increase your happiness, regardless of your income level,
but that within those countries, the rich report only marginally higher levels
of happiness. Other studies suggest even the poorest people of the world, like
those who live in the slums of Calcutta, can achieve happiness. How to
explain these discrepancies? Well, it turns out that basic needs like food and
warmth generally must be secured as a precursor to happiness. To that end, money
helps. And another ingredient of lasting happiness is pleasure, which can also
be bought. But pleasure by itself, untethered from meaning and purpose,
doesn’t stay pleasurable — or promote happiness — for very long.
Research shows factors such as meaningful relationships with family and
friends and a sense of duty and purpose outside ourselves are equally important
in determining overall happiness. Lacking those things, no amount of money is
going to up your happiness quotient. In fact, focusing on money to the
detriment of things like relationships, duty and purpose is a proven recipe
for unhappiness. Study after study shows that the more stock you put in what
psychologist Tim Kasser, PhD, calls “extrinsic” values like status, possessions
or good looks, the more unhappy you are. It turns out that materialism — a
preoccupation with material goods at the expense of other cultural, social and
spiritual values — is a highly reliable way to drive your happiness
downward. Kasser, a psychologist at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill.,
and the author of The High Price of Materialism (The MIT Press, 2002),
considers well-being to depend on the fulfillment of four psychological
needs: safety and security, competence, connection to other people, and autonomy
or freedom. “Our research shows that when people have strong materialistic
values, they tend to feel low satisfaction of those needs,” he says.
“Fundamentally, they’ve hinged their sense of worth on what others think of
them, so their [happiness] is always fragile and contingent.” The key to
sustained happiness, it seems, is finding a balance between pleasure and meaning
— and knowing when enough material wealth is enough. Happiness Practice: If
you’re compromising your close relationships, authentic priorities or sense of
inner purpose in the pursuit of material wealth, it’s time to refocus your
energy. Make a list of your core values and the experiences that matter most to
you, then start building more of them into your schedule and budget, even if it
means making some financial sacrifices in other areas. Seeking meaning, and
finding ways to be generous with your time, care and money, will bring you far
more happiness than a pile of greenbacks. (See “For a Good Cause” in the
January/February 2002 archives.)
3. Apply yourself fully to whatever you do.
If only you could take
early retirement and spend the rest of your days in a hammock sipping margaritas
— then you’d be happy! Don’t count on it. One of the crucial
ingredients of a happy life is what Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow.”
If you’ve ever been so absorbed in an activity that you’ve lost track
of time, you’ve probably experienced flow for yourself. “It’s when you are
completely involved in something that stretches you and forces you to use your
skills. You’re so focused you don’t even know you exist,” Csikszentmihalyi
explains. You’re not thinking that you’re happy at the time, he continues,
“because being happy would distract you from what you’re doing. But after you
finish, you look back on it and wish you could stay in it forever.” Here’s
one of Csikszentmihalyi’s most surprising research discoveries: The actual task
doesn’t matter. He’s studied factory workers and fishmongers who take routine
jobs and “turn them into a work of art,” he says. A person can cultivate flow
whether organizing paint cans in the basement or preparing a seminal speech for
a big client at work. Entering a state of flow requires no more than presence, a
problem-solving attitude and the conviction that you are going to do the best
job you can at the task at hand. To get lost in your next undertaking, says
Csikszentmihalyi, shift your mindset. “Instead of approaching [it] with the
attitude ‘here’s another stupid thing I have to do,’ say, ‘I’m going to do
it as well as possible.’” When you’ve found your groove, you’ll have found more
genuine happiness. Happiness Practice: Regularly stretch your skills and abilities and be
willing to give your full attention and intelligence to whatever you’re working
on (or playing at) at the moment. Seek opportunities to develop mastery in
various areas of your life (for ideas, see “The Skillful Life” in the June 2008
archives), and begin swapping passive “sit around”
entertainments for active, meaningful, challenging ones that allow you to apply
your skills and to experience “flow” on a regular basis.
4. Embrace virtues, and enjoy their rewards.
One of the most profound — and profoundly
simple — tenets of positive psychology is that happiness is found not only
through individual thoughts and behaviors, but also by connecting to a wider
purpose and contributing to the well-being of others. This idea has been with
us for a long time, says history professor McMahon. “Before the 18th century,
‘happiness’ was not predominately a description of a feeling or an emotional
state, but a description of a virtuous life,” he says. “When people began to
think of happiness as a positive emotion and good feeling, it was a
profound shift.” Today, positive psychology has rediscovered the value of
“virtues” using the scientific method, he says. Psychologists are still
exploring the territory, according to Csikszentmihalyi, but new and emerging
studies show that when a person feels gratitude, forgiveness or another
classical virtue, she reports higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.
These studies seem to indicate that happiness is tied not just to living for
yourself, but trying to do something for others. One study, for example,
found that senior citizens who tried to live out their faith in everyday life
reported higher levels of happiness than seniors who simply went to church to
socialize. Shatté’s studies in the workplace corroborate the findings: Those who
are happiest feel they’re contributing to something important. “We’ve
compared people who make a million dollars a year to people making a tenth of
that amount in the public sector,” says Shatté. The public sector employees who
believe they’re “contributing to the greater good” were, Shatté says, “more
satisfied than anyone.” Happiness Practice: Make a point of doing considerate, loving and generous
things for others (“random acts of kindness”) daily. Seize every opportunity
to do the right thing and to express gratitude for kindnesses you receive.
Get involved with at least one organized cause that inspires you to share
not just your money, but at least a little face-to-face time and effort. If
you’re looking for meaningful ways to get involved, check out Web sites like www.idealist.org and www.volunteermatch.com to connect with
organizations that might need your expertise.
5. Focus on relationships and cultivate community.
Ed Diener, PhD, a
psychologist at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and one of the
nation’s foremost happiness researchers, has conducted countless studies on the
variables that contribute to happiness. His lab has explored many different
cultures, including African tribes, the Amish and Calcutta slum-dwellers, as
well as more prosaic groups, like American college students. What do the
happiest people have in common? Positive social relationships. Happy people
cultivate friendships and tend to be married or in
relationships. Surprisingly, it isn’t necessarily the quality or the quantity
of friendships that matter. One study of college students found that the
happiest of them had a “best friend,” but that companionship — just hanging out
together — was more important to their happiness than making deeper
connections. Happiness Practice: Make some time every day to
connect with the important people in your life. Establish some weekly or
other regular rituals that give you opportunities to interact with others in
meaningful ways. (For more on building community, see “Community Matters” in the
June 2007 archives.) Not sure where to start?
Form a happiness-seekers circle with some friends, and meet monthly to
compare notes on the practices that are working best for you. Try a different
practice each month, and by this winter you might just find that cultivating
happiness is fast becoming your hobby of choice. Joe Hart is a writer
living in rural Wisconsin.
More Than a Feeling
The field of Positive Psychology has made it clear that
enhancing happiness is not about turning your frown upside down or ignoring
life’s disappointments. And it’s not about trying to feel happy when you don’t.
Rather, it’s about taking daily actions that shift some of your core behaviors
and attitudes over time. Here are three simple places you can start: Develop Your Strengths: Each of us has a set of core strengths that can
serve as a foundation for building happiness in life. By identifying and
claiming your strengths (as opposed to just obsessing about your wants and
weaknesses), you’ll experience more success and satisfaction in bringing them to
bear on your work, activities and relationships. To get started, you can take a
free, detailed 20-minute test called the VIA Inventory of Signature Strengths at www.viasurvey.org. Scale Back on Stuff: Mountains of material goods do not equal happiness.
Look for ways to reduce your acquisition of material possessions and to
declutter and donate the excess stuff you’ve accumulated so far. On his
anniversary, psychologist Tim Kasser, PhD, writes a poem for his wife instead of
buying her things she doesn’t want or need. “It’s zero consumption and it’s a
direct expression of our love.” His suggestion: When you’re about to make a
purchase, take the time to consider if it’s necessary and consistent with your
values. Start Asking Questions: Challenging our own assumptions (most of which are
embedded with judgments, fears and negative beliefs) is a powerful way to begin
experiencing more of the happiness that’s there for the taking. For two examples
of highly effective inquiry-based approaches, explore Byron Katie’s The Work
method in “Coming to Terms” (October 2004) and Marilee Adams’s Choice Map in
“Lines of Inquiry” (December 2004), available in the archives.
Resources
Here are a few books and Web sites that will help you learn more about how
to build greater happiness into your life. BOOKS Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by
Tal Ben-Shahar (McGraw-Hill, 2007) Authentic Happiness: Using the New
Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin
Seligman (Free Press, 2002) The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in
Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt (Basic Books, 2006) WEB www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu
— The Authentic Happiness homepage includes self-assessments and resources for
testing and improving the qualities that help foster happiness. www.pos-psych.com — Positive Psychology News
Daily is a news feed of articles about positive psychology and happiness
authored by guest authors and graduates of the Master of Applied Positive
Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener — Ed
Diener is one of the leading experts in happiness, maintaining an extensive Web
site with a detailed FAQ and catalog of research.
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5 Ways to Practice Happiness
When it comes to the quest for greater happiness, waiting and hoping are
out. Learning and practicing are in. Here’s how to create your own
happy reality - starting now.
By Joseph Hart | Features, July-August 2008 |
Getting Past Glum
A Look on the Bright Side
1. Your mental game matters, so shift your thinking
2. Don't count on more money to make you happier.
3. Apply yourself fully to whatever you do.
4. Embrace virtues, and enjoy their rewards.
5. Focus on relationships and cultivate community.
More Than a Feeling
Resources
We travel in search of it, marry for the sake of it, see
coaches and therapists to enhance it, switch jobs to capture it, and
sock away money to secure it. Yet, for many of us, happiness remains elusive.
And even though we spend much of our lives chasing happiness, many of us would
be hard-pressed to even define it in the first place. So what is happiness?
Where can we find it? And once we do, how can we keep it? These are
questions that have consumed philosophers, spiritual leaders and artists (to say
nothing of folks like you and me) for thousands of years. In the past decade,
though, the same questions have attracted the attention of a growing number of
psychologists, neurologists, and other respected academics and clinicians.
These researchers are turning their attention toward the mechanics and
chemistry of happiness, which they define (in simplified terms) as the emotional
experience of having a pleasant, engaged and meaningful life. And their findings
are having a dramatic impact not just on the field of psychology, but also on
the way many of us are cultivating happiness in our own lives. At first
glance, the notion of investigating happiness may not seem particularly
revolutionary. But, in fact, the new interest in happiness represents a
relatively contemporary shift in psychological focus. Historically, it seems
that psychology has been more interested in fixing mental-health problems and
illnesses than boosting actual happiness. And so the problems got more than
their fair share of attention.
Getting Past Glum (Back to Top)
“Sigmund Freud famously
suggested that the goal of psychoanalysis is to make extraordinarily unhappy
people ‘ordinarily’ unhappy,” says Darrin McMahon, PhD, a professor of history
at Florida State University in Tallahassee and the author of Happiness: A
History (Grove, 2006). In short, psychology tried to make life tolerable for
people suffering from severe mental illness. Yet today most psychologists
don’t treat the severely mentally ill. Instead they primarily work with people
who are dealing with everyday dissatisfactions and worries, and the classic
“talking cure,” meant to remedy acute mental illness, remains stuck in the same
old Freudian paradigm. “As a clinician, I treated people with
depression and anxiety,” explains Andrew Shatté, PhD, a psychologist at the
University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia and coauthor of The Resilience
Factor: Seven Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles
(Broadway, 2002). “The way that we defined success was that people would come in
and we measured their symptoms: If they had 30 symptoms and we got them to five,
we called it a success. If we got it down to zero, we said ‘mission
accomplished.’” In other words, helping clients build more happiness into their
lives wasn’t part of the picture. But if plumbing the mind’s recesses and
dredging up past miseries doesn’t necessarily promote happiness, what can it
hurt? Perhaps a lot, says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of psychology at
Claremont Graduate University in Claremont, Calif., a prominent figure in the
study of happiness, and the author of numerous books, including Flow: The
Psychology of Optimal Experience (Harper Perennial, 1991). “Most people, when
they ruminate about the cause of their wretchedness, become more wretched,” he
says. “For most people, that’s just compounding their misery.”
A Look on the Bright Side (Back to Top)
Shatté and Csikszentmihalyi are just two of a growing number of
psychologists who, as part of what’s known as the Positive Psychology movement,
have shifted their attention to advancing the knowledge of what makes us feel
satisfied, energized, hopeful — and happy. What they’ve discovered is that
while overall life satisfaction does have an innate component (some people
are just born happier and are wired to stay that way), happiness is also
something we can practice and cultivate. Happiness hinges on our choices,
attitudes and thoughts — and when we know more about how these choices,
attitudes and thoughts affect the quality of our lives, we have a powerful
recipe for cooking up more lifelong joy, meaning and satisfaction. Below
are five of the fundamental conclusions from “happiness studies” done in recent
years. Many of them sound like commonsense realizations — principles you’d think
that we’d all be acting on already. But when it comes to creating our own
happiness, turning common sense into common practice is a step most of us have
yet to make.
1. Your mental game matters, so shift your thinking. (Back to Top)
Studies suggest
that each of us has a baseline for happiness. Positive and negative events —
winning the lottery or suffering a spinal cord injury are two examples that
researchers have studied — will knock us off our baseline. But over time, we
tend to return to roughly the same level of happiness, whether we are
millionaires or confined to a wheelchair. Where this baseline is set
involves our temperament and genetics as well as our fundamental belief systems
and thinking styles, explains Shatté. “The thing about our belief systems is
that they become habits of thinking,” he explains, “and often these thinking
styles are inaccurate.” To illustrate the point, Shatté describes an
experiment he frequently performs at seminars. He flashes a series of “word
jumbles” on a screen and gives attendees 12 seconds to solve each puzzle. What
he doesn’t tell them is that none of the puzzles has a solution. After several
minutes, he pauses the exercise to ask participants to chart their feelings
about their failure — frustration, anger, embarrassment. “Each specific kind
of feeling results from habits of thinking,” he explains. “If you think you’re
not as good as other people, you’re going to be sad; if you are looking for a
violation of your rights, you’ll be angry; if you think you will lose standing,
you’re embarrassed. The point is, every one of these thoughts was wildly
inaccurate, given the truth that the puzzles are unsolvable. We make
mistakes in our thinking and we pay a price for them.” The takeaway? People
who gain self-knowledge about their inaccurate beliefs and feelings, Shatté
says, can permanently lift their baseline for happiness. The more you understand
your thinking style and beliefs, the more you are able to see the inaccuracies
for what they are and be less affected by them. Happiness Practice: Pay attention to your instinctive emotional
responses and begin consciously challenging the negative thoughts and limiting
belief systems that underlie them. Develop a self-calming or hopeful mental
mantra (“Everything is an opportunity.” “I get to choose my responses.” “This,
too, shall pass.”) to get you through anxiety-ridden moments. (For more
suggestions, see “Three Deep Breaths” in the October 2006 archives.)
2. Don't count on more money to make you happier. (Back to Top)
The relationship between
money and happiness is a complicated one. Some studies show that living in a
wealthier nation can increase your happiness, regardless of your income level,
but that within those countries, the rich report only marginally higher levels
of happiness. Other studies suggest even the poorest people of the world, like
those who live in the slums of Calcutta, can achieve happiness. How to
explain these discrepancies? Well, it turns out that basic needs like food and
warmth generally must be secured as a precursor to happiness. To that end, money
helps. And another ingredient of lasting happiness is pleasure, which can also
be bought. But pleasure by itself, untethered from meaning and purpose,
doesn’t stay pleasurable — or promote happiness — for very long.
Research shows factors such as meaningful relationships with family and
friends and a sense of duty and purpose outside ourselves are equally important
in determining overall happiness. Lacking those things, no amount of money is
going to up your happiness quotient. In fact, focusing on money to the
detriment of things like relationships, duty and purpose is a proven recipe
for unhappiness. Study after study shows that the more stock you put in what
psychologist Tim Kasser, PhD, calls “extrinsic” values like status, possessions
or good looks, the more unhappy you are. It turns out that materialism — a
preoccupation with material goods at the expense of other cultural, social and
spiritual values — is a highly reliable way to drive your happiness
downward. Kasser, a psychologist at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill.,
and the author of The High Price of Materialism (The MIT Press, 2002),
considers well-being to depend on the fulfillment of four psychological
needs: safety and security, competence, connection to other people, and autonomy
or freedom. “Our research shows that when people have strong materialistic
values, they tend to feel low satisfaction of those needs,” he says.
“Fundamentally, they’ve hinged their sense of worth on what others think of
them, so their [happiness] is always fragile and contingent.” The key to
sustained happiness, it seems, is finding a balance between pleasure and meaning
— and knowing when enough material wealth is enough. Happiness Practice: If
you’re compromising your close relationships, authentic priorities or sense of
inner purpose in the pursuit of material wealth, it’s time to refocus your
energy. Make a list of your core values and the experiences that matter most to
you, then start building more of them into your schedule and budget, even if it
means making some financial sacrifices in other areas. Seeking meaning, and
finding ways to be generous with your time, care and money, will bring you far
more happiness than a pile of greenbacks. (See “For a Good Cause” in the
January/February 2002 archives.)
3. Apply yourself fully to whatever you do. (Back to Top)
If only you could take
early retirement and spend the rest of your days in a hammock sipping margaritas
— then you’d be happy! Don’t count on it. One of the crucial
ingredients of a happy life is what Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow.”
If you’ve ever been so absorbed in an activity that you’ve lost track
of time, you’ve probably experienced flow for yourself. “It’s when you are
completely involved in something that stretches you and forces you to use your
skills. You’re so focused you don’t even know you exist,” Csikszentmihalyi
explains. You’re not thinking that you’re happy at the time, he continues,
“because being happy would distract you from what you’re doing. But after you
finish, you look back on it and wish you could stay in it forever.” Here’s
one of Csikszentmihalyi’s most surprising research discoveries: The actual task
doesn’t matter. He’s studied factory workers and fishmongers who take routine
jobs and “turn them into a work of art,” he says. A person can cultivate flow
whether organizing paint cans in the basement or preparing a seminal speech for
a big client at work. Entering a state of flow requires no more than presence, a
problem-solving attitude and the conviction that you are going to do the best
job you can at the task at hand. To get lost in your next undertaking, says
Csikszentmihalyi, shift your mindset. “Instead of approaching [it] with the
attitude ‘here’s another stupid thing I have to do,’ say, ‘I’m going to do
it as well as possible.’” When you’ve found your groove, you’ll have found more
genuine happiness. Happiness Practice: Regularly stretch your skills and abilities and be
willing to give your full attention and intelligence to whatever you’re working
on (or playing at) at the moment. Seek opportunities to develop mastery in
various areas of your life (for ideas, see “The Skillful Life” in the June 2008
archives), and begin swapping passive “sit around”
entertainments for active, meaningful, challenging ones that allow you to apply
your skills and to experience “flow” on a regular basis.
4. Embrace virtues, and enjoy their rewards. (Back to Top)
One of the most profound — and profoundly
simple — tenets of positive psychology is that happiness is found not only
through individual thoughts and behaviors, but also by connecting to a wider
purpose and contributing to the well-being of others. This idea has been with
us for a long time, says history professor McMahon. “Before the 18th century,
‘happiness’ was not predominately a description of a feeling or an emotional
state, but a description of a virtuous life,” he says. “When people began to
think of happiness as a positive emotion and good feeling, it was a
profound shift.” Today, positive psychology has rediscovered the value of
“virtues” using the scientific method, he says. Psychologists are still
exploring the territory, according to Csikszentmihalyi, but new and emerging
studies show that when a person feels gratitude, forgiveness or another
classical virtue, she reports higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.
These studies seem to indicate that happiness is tied not just to living for
yourself, but trying to do something for others. One study, for example,
found that senior citizens who tried to live out their faith in everyday life
reported higher levels of happiness than seniors who simply went to church to
socialize. Shatté’s studies in the workplace corroborate the findings: Those who
are happiest feel they’re contributing to something important. “We’ve
compared people who make a million dollars a year to people making a tenth of
that amount in the public sector,” says Shatté. The public sector employees who
believe they’re “contributing to the greater good” were, Shatté says, “more
satisfied than anyone.” Happiness Practice: Make a point of doing considerate, loving and generous
things for others (“random acts of kindness”) daily. Seize every opportunity
to do the right thing and to express gratitude for kindnesses you receive.
Get involved with at least one organized cause that inspires you to share
not just your money, but at least a little face-to-face time and effort. If
you’re looking for meaningful ways to get involved, check out Web sites like www.idealist.org and www.volunteermatch.com to connect with
organizations that might need your expertise.
5. Focus on relationships and cultivate community. (Back to Top)
Ed Diener, PhD, a
psychologist at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and one of the
nation’s foremost happiness researchers, has conducted countless studies on the
variables that contribute to happiness. His lab has explored many different
cultures, including African tribes, the Amish and Calcutta slum-dwellers, as
well as more prosaic groups, like American college students. What do the
happiest people have in common? Positive social relationships. Happy people
cultivate friendships and tend to be married or in
relationships. Surprisingly, it isn’t necessarily the quality or the quantity
of friendships that matter. One study of college students found that the
happiest of them had a “best friend,” but that companionship — just hanging out
together — was more important to their happiness than making deeper
connections. Happiness Practice: Make some time every day to
connect with the important people in your life. Establish some weekly or
other regular rituals that give you opportunities to interact with others in
meaningful ways. (For more on building community, see “Community Matters” in the
June 2007 archives.) Not sure where to start?
Form a happiness-seekers circle with some friends, and meet monthly to
compare notes on the practices that are working best for you. Try a different
practice each month, and by this winter you might just find that cultivating
happiness is fast becoming your hobby of choice. Joe Hart is a writer
living in rural Wisconsin.
More Than a Feeling (Back to Top)
The field of Positive Psychology has made it clear that
enhancing happiness is not about turning your frown upside down or ignoring
life’s disappointments. And it’s not about trying to feel happy when you don’t.
Rather, it’s about taking daily actions that shift some of your core behaviors
and attitudes over time. Here are three simple places you can start: Develop Your Strengths: Each of us has a set of core strengths that can
serve as a foundation for building happiness in life. By identifying and
claiming your strengths (as opposed to just obsessing about your wants and
weaknesses), you’ll experience more success and satisfaction in bringing them to
bear on your work, activities and relationships. To get started, you can take a
free, detailed 20-minute test called the VIA Inventory of Signature Strengths at www.viasurvey.org. Scale Back on Stuff: Mountains of material goods do not equal happiness.
Look for ways to reduce your acquisition of material possessions and to
declutter and donate the excess stuff you’ve accumulated so far. On his
anniversary, psychologist Tim Kasser, PhD, writes a poem for his wife instead of
buying her things she doesn’t want or need. “It’s zero consumption and it’s a
direct expression of our love.” His suggestion: When you’re about to make a
purchase, take the time to consider if it’s necessary and consistent with your
values. Start Asking Questions: Challenging our own assumptions (most of which are
embedded with judgments, fears and negative beliefs) is a powerful way to begin
experiencing more of the happiness that’s there for the taking. For two examples
of highly effective inquiry-based approaches, explore Byron Katie’s The Work
method in “Coming to Terms” (October 2004) and Marilee Adams’s Choice Map in
“Lines of Inquiry” (December 2004), available in the archives.
Resources (Back to Top)
Here are a few books and Web sites that will help you learn more about how
to build greater happiness into your life. BOOKS Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by
Tal Ben-Shahar (McGraw-Hill, 2007) Authentic Happiness: Using the New
Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin
Seligman (Free Press, 2002) The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in
Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt (Basic Books, 2006) WEB www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu
— The Authentic Happiness homepage includes self-assessments and resources for
testing and improving the qualities that help foster happiness. www.pos-psych.com — Positive Psychology News
Daily is a news feed of articles about positive psychology and happiness
authored by guest authors and graduates of the Master of Applied Positive
Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener — Ed
Diener is one of the leading experts in happiness, maintaining an extensive Web
site with a detailed FAQ and catalog of research.
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