experiencelifemag.com Print › | Back › Resolutions Workshop 2009: One Step at a Time Lofty goals all begin with a single step. Here’s how to plan - and sustain - the small changes that matter. By Erin Peterson January-February 2009 Clarify Your Vision Cultivate Clues Track Your Progress, Reap Rewards Small Starts to Big Changes Resources For many of us, the start of a new year is more than just the flip of a calendar page — it’s a blank slate. It’s a time to reimagine who we can be. We give ourselves big, galvanizing goals and set out in earnest to achieve them. Too often, though, we lose momentum even before we’ve begun — because we don’t establish benchmarks for charting our progress, and we don’t break our big goals down into small steps that represent meaningful, but doable, progress. The result? When a few days or weeks go by and we haven’t yet wiped out all our debt or lost all the weight we hoped to shed, we get disappointed. We feel disempowered. And then we give up. That’s why one of the secrets to achieving our goals is to dream big while planning small. Successfully accomplishing well-defined, incremental goals (as opposed to wrangling large, unwieldy projects that never get off the ground) not only nets us some tangible results, it also builds feelings of competence and confidence, and helps us establish traction for big(ger) changes down the road. Step-by-step changes, by definition, create opportunities for daily focus — and daily action. Together, those components create a reliable context for change. “It’s like a magnifying glass. The more focused your energy, the more firepower you have,” says Gregg Levoy, author of Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life (Random House, 1997). You can direct that power at individual changes or at a series of small changes that will combine to help you break out of a long-standing rut. Want to make 2009 your year of small steps and big successes? To help you get started, we’ve gathered expert advice on the most effective ways to start building meaningful momentum, now. Clarify Your Vision Most of us have at least a few big dreams. Maybe it’s running a marathon, getting that high credit-card balance to zero or writing the great American novel. But our dreams of going from zero (can’t jog around the block) to 100 (finishing an Ironman) overnight can seem so overwhelming that we get paralyzed and do nothing at all. “There is something to be said for having visions, but the real power in these things is the tiny goals — the kind that you can get on tomorrow’s to-do list,” says Levoy. “You can’t become a novelist overnight, but you can write two pages a day. And the cumulative effect of, say, a year’s worth of two pages a day is a book-length manuscript.” Translating general goals into specific actions is essential, says M. J. Ryan, author of This Year I Will . . . How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True (Broadway, 2006). But going from general to specific also requires a shifting of mental gears. “Our aspirations, longings and desires are generally right-brain thinking,” she explains. “Determining how to make those things reality and taking the steps to understand and measure [our progress] is something that happens in the left brain. We need to apply the analytical thinking of our left brain to achieve our right-brain desires, but most of us haven’t been taught to do that.” Here are some helpful tips for putting your right-brain dreams into left-brain language: Pick your goals. Home in on one (or at most two) areas of your life in which you’d most like to create positive change. It can help to first take stock of how ready you are to make change (“still thinking about it” vs. “really ready to take action”), and then pick a goal that’s geared toward moving you incrementally forward (see the behavior change model summarized in “Profiles of Fitness Transformations”). You might also identify one desire or area of imbalance and then consider what related shifts in your daily routine would make the biggest difference. Visualize change. What would your daily life look like if you were making small, specific changes in the service of your larger goal? What concrete actions could be incorporated into each day to bring you closer to your goal? For example, if your dream is to one day compete in a triathlon, but you haven’t been making fitness a priority, think about small shifts you could take right now — walking the stairs at every opportunity or signing up for a weekly fitness class — that will get you a bit closer to your goal. If you can’t realistically imagine yourself making the change you have in mind, visualize some change that you do believe you can do. Define your action steps. Now that you’ve brainstormed some actionable ideas, make them measurable and time-specific. Define when and where you will do these things, and how many times in a day, week or month. Think in terms of tasks that another person could confirm or deny (yes, she did eat fresh fruit each day this week). Give these commitments space in your calendar and cross them off as you go. By giving yourself exact, visible targets you can measure — and celebrate — you’ll build confidence and momentum. Check in. As you start incorporating small changes into your daily routine, set aside a regular, recurring time to take stock. If the changes you’ve outlined aren’t happening, look at what’s getting in the way. Is it a time and energy problem? If so, how can you free up these resources? Are you lacking a skill or support? If so, how can you go about acquiring the help you need? Have you simply set a goal that’s too ambitious? Redefine it in terms of daily momentum-building actions that feel doable to you now. Remember, scaling back your plans needn’t be a declaration of failure. Instead, see it as an act of integrity: You’re aligning your energy and intention toward creating real-life success. Cultivate Clues Environment drives behavior. Since old habits die hard, and because new habits can take a few weeks to form, it’s important to get your environment working in your favor. If you’ve been doing things one way for years, notes Ryan, “you need support to remind yourself to make the change.” You may also need visual cues to trigger new perspectives. Here are two key questions to help you cultivate a resolution-friendly environment: How can I structure my physical environment to trigger desired behaviors and attitudes? Oftentimes we get stuck with bad habits because they’re easy. A simple change in our surroundings may be all the catalyst we need to make a real and lasting small change. If you’re trying to watch less TV but have a set in the bedroom, move it to the basement and stock your bedroom with beautiful candles and books instead. If you’re determined to eat a better breakfast, prep your edibles in easy-access containers, assemble any key cooking gear, and clear clutter from the areas where you prepare and eat your food. If you’re planning a new workout routine, leave your running shoes, gym bag, weights, yoga mat and fitness journal right where you can see them, and load your MP3 player with great tunes. Need a reminder to floss each night? Leave the container on your vanity in plain sight, not tucked in a drawer. And if you’re trying to kick the soda habit, by all means, purge your pantry of 12-packs and pull your water pitcher out of hiding. “Get yourself out of harm’s way,” suggests life coach J. Lynn Cutts, PhD, CPCC, author of Change One Habit, Change Your Life (BookSurge, 2006). “Change your environment and don’t go to places where you might be tempted.” Jot down three environmental adjustments you can make to support desired behaviors and attitudes essential to your goal. How can I connect an old habit to a new change? A daily reminder can be a powerful tool to help you move forward toward your goals, and you can use long-established habits to give you that prompt. “You’ll remember [your new goals] better if they’re attached to an action you’re already doing,” says Ryan. This strategy, known as linking, makes it easier to take on a new habit, because you aren’t starting from scratch. It may be as simple as placing reminder notes to yourself in places you automatically see or touch each day (your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your garage door, your dashboard). Or it might involve placing a triggering tool or object in the vicinity of a deeply ingrained action. For example, if you want to start taking a multivitamin and you routinely eat cereal for breakfast or use a sweetener in your morning joe, put your vitamin bottle next to either item to remind you to take one each day. Or if you want to squeeze in five minutes of morning yoga, start doing it while brewing your tea or coffee. List three existing routines you have and three new desired habits or actions you can link to them. Track Your Progress, Reap Rewards Meeting a small goal each day can have a real impact over time — and it’s important to find a way to acknowledge the steps you’ve taken. Charting your progress gives you tangible evidence of your ongoing transformation — and that energizes you to keep going. When Levoy decided he wanted to quit his job to become a freelance writer, he took three to six small steps each day toward his goal, from sending emails, to brainstorming story ideas. “I kept a progress log of the campaign: a ring binder filled up with daily to-do lists, dreams, drawings, and journal entries, as well as notes from my informational interviews with freelancers,” he says. “After one year of three to six little reachable goals [each day], you’re talking about thousands of individual steps.” When Ryan set a goal for herself to take a multivitamin each day, she kept a pad on her refrigerator where she could note each time she remembered to take it. It was no more difficult than crossing out an item on her to-do list, but the satisfaction of seeing that daily success motivated her to continue. This is the beauty of the can-do confidence psychologists call self-efficacy: It’s something each of us can build simply by coaxing ourselves through a series of small successes, one step at a time. It’s worth noting in advance that any goal worth achieving is bound to present some challenging moments. So if you miss a workout or bail on a commitment, don’t give in to the temptation to pronounce yourself a failure. Instead, look at even your setbacks as sources of useful information: What were the circumstances that preceded the slip-up, and what can you learn from them? Once you’ve gathered the insight (“stress makes me eat; watching TV makes me lethargic; not getting enough sleep makes me dread my workout”), write it down in your journal or resolutions notebook — and then make some notes of what you might do differently next time. Then go back to focusing on the vision and core motivations that got you excited to take on this goal in the first place. Take inventory of all the little things you’ve done to demonstrate your intention. “When you’re convinced you’re not making any progress, when you’re overcome with the voices of doubt (yours and others’), you can look at that accumulation of individual steps and insights and remember that, in fact, you’re making tremendous progress,” Levoy says. January is a time for fresh starts, and this year the fresh start can be thinking small. So commit to a modest-but-meaningful change, practice it consistently, and soon you’ll begin reaping the rewards — the kind that bring your bigger goals within surprisingly easy reach. Erin Peterson is a freelance writer in Minneapolis. Small Starts to Big Changes Want to take that first incremental step toward your big dreams? Here are some auspicious small starts: Big Goal: Get out of debt Small Starts ... Create an Emergency Fund. Debt can be hard to escape when credit cards are your only source of emergency money. Open a savings account and automate small transfers (even $10 a month) from your checking account to help build up the balance. With some money saved, you won’t go straight back into debt the next time you get a flat tire or the plumbing breaks. Pay off some small bills. Many financial advisers suggest tackling debt by first paying down the account with the highest interest rate. This is smart advice, but if your biggest account balance is also the one with the highest rate, you’ll be paying for a long time before you have the satisfaction of wiping the debt clean. If the long time span to a zero balance hinders you from getting started, try the reverse: Gain traction on your bills by starting with the smallest (say a small medical bill or parking ticket). As you get some smaller bills paid off, begin tackling larger balances. For extra incentive, make a list of all your debts, smallest to largest, and post it in a visible spot like the refrigerator. Cross off each debt when you reach a zero balance. You’ll get to revel in your successes every time you grab a snack. A bonus: The visible, self-esteem-boosting reminder of your fiscal successes may spark some healthier eating choices, too. Big Goal: Lose Weight Small Starts ... Five minutes of morning activity. Even if all you do is walk to the mailbox and back, or unroll your yoga mat and do a single sun salutation, you’ll have given your body the message that movement matters. You’ll also have created an important opportunity for observation: If you feel the same resistance to five minutes of activity as you do to an hourlong session (or come up with the same excuses), there’s a good chance that your resistance has more to do with a mental-emotional block than it does with practical time limitations. Notice the thoughts and feelings that surface around your five-minute commitment, and you’ll likely uncover clues to much deeper life patterns. Ditch the soda. Whether you cut back or cut it out entirely is up to you. Invest in a water bottle or canister you like, and for every can or bottle of soda you eliminate, replace it with water or herbal tea. Flavoring your water with slices of cucumber, lemon or orange, or with a splash of pure fruit juice, will help make the transition easier. Swap one processed food for a whole-food alternative. Instead of trying to change your entire diet overnight, simply pick one processed or starchy snack or side dish and have a piece of fruit, handful of veggies, or serving of legumes or whole grains in its place. Instead of instant mashed potatoes, go for whole-grain quinoa. Instead of garlic bread, opt for grilled zucchini. Instead of sour cream ’n’ onion dip, try hummus. Another alternative: Choose a new food each week and incorporate it into a meal. Big Goal: Spend more quality time with family Small Starts ... Give the electronics a break. It’s easy to flip on the TV after work for “just a bit” or log on to the computer “really quick” to check sports scores or stock prices. Before you know it, though, it’s bedtime, and all your valuable time and energy have been sucked into those screens. Commit to a regular electronics-free period that you can reliably spend engaging with loved ones. Establish a “best moments” ritual. Asking your spouse or kids to recall the best moments of their day is a great way to build positive energy and connections that move beyond the usual conversation topics. Take turns running through your daily high points at the dinner table or just before bed. Or, at breakfast, invite all the members of your family to share the parts of their day they most anticipate. Resources Hungry for more mini-goal ideas? Check out “Last-Chance Victories” in the November/December 2003 archives. Need more help? Try these books and Web sites to help you achieve your goals. BOOKS One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer (Workman Publishing, 2004) — The book, based on the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching, provides advice on making change through step-by-step actions. Small Change: It’s the Little Things in Life That Make a Big Difference by Susan and Larry Terkel (Tarcher, 2004) — Use three simple principles to make small changes over time. Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy (Random House, 1997)  — Offers tools and advice for homing in on your true calling and taking meaningful action toward pursuing it. This Year I Will . . . How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True by M. J. Ryan (Broadway, 2006) — Offers practical strategies for overcoming obstacles and defeating negative self-talk. WEB SITES www.goalmigo.com — Helps people set, track and share their goals. www.stickk.com — Created by a professor of economics at Yale, this site lets users create commitment contracts — and back them up with financial incentives — to reach their goals. www.livedynamite.com — Live Dynamite offers an engaging and energizing approach to stretching yourself, staying on track and reaching your ultimate goals. (For a special deal on Live Dynamite products, visit our Special Offers section.)

Resolutions Workshop 2009: One Step at a Time

Lofty goals all begin with a single step. Here’s how to plan - and sustain - the small changes that matter.

Clarify Your Vision
Cultivate Clues
Track Your Progress, Reap Rewards
Small Starts to Big Changes
Resources

For many of us, the start of a new year is more than just the flip of a calendar page — it’s a blank slate. It’s a time to reimagine who we can be. We give ourselves big, galvanizing goals and set out in earnest to achieve them.

Too often, though, we lose momentum even before we’ve begun — because we don’t establish benchmarks for charting our progress, and we don’t break our big goals down into small steps that represent meaningful, but doable, progress.

The result? When a few days or weeks go by and we haven’t yet wiped out all our debt or lost all the weight we hoped to shed, we get disappointed. We feel disempowered. And then we give up.

That’s why one of the secrets to achieving our goals is to dream big while planning small. Successfully accomplishing well-defined, incremental goals (as opposed to wrangling large, unwieldy projects that never get off the ground) not only nets us some tangible results, it also builds feelings of competence and confidence, and helps us establish traction for big(ger) changes down the road.

Step-by-step changes, by definition, create opportunities for daily focus — and daily action. Together, those components create a reliable context for change.

“It’s like a magnifying glass. The more focused your energy, the more firepower you have,” says Gregg Levoy, author of Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life (Random House, 1997). You can direct that power at individual changes or at a series of small changes that will combine to help you break out of a long-standing rut.

Want to make 2009 your year of small steps and big successes? To help you get started, we’ve gathered expert advice on the most effective ways to start building meaningful momentum, now.

Clarify Your Vision (Back to Top)
Most of us have at least a few big dreams. Maybe it’s running a marathon, getting that high credit-card balance to zero or writing the great American novel. But our dreams of going from zero (can’t jog around the block) to 100 (finishing an Ironman) overnight can seem so overwhelming that we get paralyzed and do nothing at all.

“There is something to be said for having visions, but the real power in these things is the tiny goals — the kind that you can get on tomorrow’s to-do list,” says Levoy. “You can’t become a novelist overnight, but you can write two pages a day. And the cumulative effect of, say, a year’s worth of two pages a day is a book-length manuscript.”

Translating general goals into specific actions is essential, says M. J. Ryan, author of This Year I Will . . . How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True (Broadway, 2006). But going from general to specific also requires a shifting of mental gears.

“Our aspirations, longings and desires are generally right-brain thinking,” she explains. “Determining how to make those things reality and taking the steps to understand and measure [our progress] is something that happens in the left brain. We need to apply the analytical thinking of our left brain to achieve our right-brain desires, but most of us haven’t been taught to do that.”

Here are some helpful tips for putting your right-brain dreams into left-brain language:

Pick your goals. Home in on one (or at most two) areas of your life in which you’d most like to create positive change. It can help to first take stock of how ready you are to make change (“still thinking about it” vs. “really ready to take action”), and then pick a goal that’s geared toward moving you incrementally forward (see the behavior change model summarized in “Profiles of Fitness Transformations”). You might also identify one desire or area of imbalance and then consider what related shifts in your daily routine would make the biggest difference.

Visualize change. What would your daily life look like if you were making small, specific changes in the service of your larger goal? What concrete actions could be incorporated into each day to bring you closer to your goal? For example, if your dream is to one day compete in a triathlon, but you haven’t been making fitness a priority, think about small shifts you could take right now — walking the stairs at every opportunity or signing up for a weekly fitness class — that will get you a bit closer to your goal. If you can’t realistically imagine yourself making the change you have in mind, visualize some change that you do believe you can do.

Define your action steps. Now that you’ve brainstormed some actionable ideas, make them measurable and time-specific. Define when and where you will do these things, and how many times in a day, week or month. Think in terms of tasks that another person could confirm or deny (yes, she did eat fresh fruit each day this week). Give these commitments space in your calendar and cross them off as you go. By giving yourself exact, visible targets you can measure — and celebrate — you’ll build confidence and momentum.

Check in. As you start incorporating small changes into your daily routine, set aside a regular, recurring time to take stock. If the changes you’ve outlined aren’t happening, look at what’s getting in the way. Is it a time and energy problem? If so, how can you free up these resources? Are you lacking a skill or support? If so, how can you go about acquiring the help you need? Have you simply set a goal that’s too ambitious? Redefine it in terms of daily momentum-building actions that feel doable to you now. Remember, scaling back your plans needn’t be a declaration of failure. Instead, see it as an act of integrity: You’re aligning your energy and intention toward creating real-life success.

Cultivate Clues (Back to Top)
Environment drives behavior. Since old habits die hard, and because new habits can take a few weeks to form, it’s important to get your environment working in your favor. If you’ve been doing things one way for years, notes Ryan, “you need support to remind yourself to make the change.” You may also need visual cues to trigger new perspectives.

Here are two key questions to help you cultivate a resolution-friendly environment:

How can I structure my physical environment to trigger desired behaviors and attitudes?
Oftentimes we get stuck with bad habits because they’re easy. A simple change in our surroundings may be all the catalyst we need to make a real and lasting small change.

If you’re trying to watch less TV but have a set in the bedroom, move it to the basement and stock your bedroom with beautiful candles and books instead. If you’re determined to eat a better breakfast, prep your edibles in easy-access containers, assemble any key cooking gear, and clear clutter from the areas where you prepare and eat your food.

If you’re planning a new workout routine, leave your running shoes, gym bag, weights, yoga mat and fitness journal right where you can see them, and load your MP3 player with great tunes. Need a reminder to floss each night? Leave the container on your vanity in plain sight, not tucked in a drawer. And if you’re trying to kick the soda habit, by all means, purge your pantry of 12-packs and pull your water pitcher out of hiding.

“Get yourself out of harm’s way,” suggests life coach J. Lynn Cutts, PhD, CPCC, author of Change One Habit, Change Your Life (BookSurge, 2006). “Change your environment and don’t go to places where you might be tempted.”

Jot down three environmental adjustments you can make to support desired behaviors and attitudes essential to your goal.

How can I connect an old habit to a new change?
A daily reminder can be a powerful tool to help you move forward toward your goals, and you can use long-established habits to give you that prompt. “You’ll remember [your new goals] better if they’re attached to an action you’re already doing,” says Ryan.

This strategy, known as linking, makes it easier to take on a new habit, because you aren’t starting from scratch. It may be as simple as placing reminder notes to yourself in places you automatically see or touch each day (your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your garage door, your dashboard). Or it might involve placing a triggering tool or object in the vicinity of a deeply ingrained action.

For example, if you want to start taking a multivitamin and you routinely eat cereal for breakfast or use a sweetener in your morning joe, put your vitamin bottle next to either item to remind you to take one each day. Or if you want to squeeze in five minutes of morning yoga, start doing it while brewing your tea or coffee.

List three existing routines you have and three new desired habits or actions you can link to them.

Track Your Progress, Reap Rewards (Back to Top)
Meeting a small goal each day can have a real impact over time — and it’s important to find a way to acknowledge the steps you’ve taken. Charting your progress gives you tangible evidence of your ongoing transformation — and that energizes you to keep going.

When Levoy decided he wanted to quit his job to become a freelance writer, he took three to six small steps each day toward his goal, from sending emails, to brainstorming story ideas. “I kept a progress log of the campaign: a ring binder filled up with daily to-do lists, dreams, drawings, and journal entries, as well as notes from my informational interviews with freelancers,” he says. “After one year of three to six little reachable goals [each day], you’re talking about thousands of individual steps.”

When Ryan set a goal for herself to take a multivitamin each day, she kept a pad on her refrigerator where she could note each time she remembered to take it. It was no more difficult than crossing out an item on her to-do list, but the satisfaction of seeing that daily success motivated her to continue.

This is the beauty of the can-do confidence psychologists call self-efficacy: It’s something each of us can build simply by coaxing ourselves through a series of small successes, one step at a time.

It’s worth noting in advance that any goal worth achieving is bound to present some challenging moments. So if you miss a workout or bail on a commitment, don’t give in to the temptation to pronounce yourself a failure. Instead, look at even your setbacks as sources of useful information: What were the circumstances that preceded the slip-up, and what can you learn from them?

Once you’ve gathered the insight (“stress makes me eat; watching TV makes me lethargic; not getting enough sleep makes me dread my workout”), write it down in your journal or resolutions notebook — and then make some notes of what you might do differently next time. Then go back to focusing on the vision and core motivations that got you excited to take on this goal in the first place. Take inventory of all the little things you’ve done to demonstrate your intention.

“When you’re convinced you’re not making any progress, when you’re overcome with the voices of doubt (yours and others’), you can look at that accumulation of individual steps and insights and remember that, in fact, you’re making tremendous progress,” Levoy says.

January is a time for fresh starts, and this year the fresh start can be thinking small. So commit to a modest-but-meaningful change, practice it consistently, and soon you’ll begin reaping the rewards — the kind that bring your bigger goals within surprisingly easy reach.

Erin Peterson is a freelance writer in Minneapolis.

Small Starts to Big Changes (Back to Top)
Want to take that first incremental step toward your big dreams? Here are some auspicious small starts:

Big Goal: Get out of debt

Small Starts ...
Create an Emergency Fund. Debt can be hard to escape when credit cards are your only source of emergency money. Open a savings account and automate small transfers (even $10 a month) from your checking account to help build up the balance. With some money saved, you won’t go straight back into debt the next time you get a flat tire or the plumbing breaks.

Pay off some small bills. Many financial advisers suggest tackling debt by first paying down the account with the highest interest rate. This is smart advice, but if your biggest account balance is also the one with the highest rate, you’ll be paying for a long time before you have the satisfaction of wiping the debt clean. If the long time span to a zero balance hinders you from getting started, try the reverse: Gain traction on your bills by starting with the smallest (say a small medical bill or parking ticket). As you get some smaller bills paid off, begin tackling larger balances. For extra incentive, make a list of all your debts, smallest to largest, and post it in a visible spot like the refrigerator. Cross off each debt when you reach a zero balance. You’ll get to revel in your successes every time you grab a snack. A bonus: The visible, self-esteem-boosting reminder of your fiscal
successes may spark some healthier eating choices, too.

Big Goal: Lose Weight

Small Starts ...
Five minutes of morning activity. Even if all you do is walk to the mailbox and back, or unroll your yoga mat and do a single sun salutation, you’ll have given your body the message that movement matters. You’ll also have created an important opportunity for observation: If you feel the same resistance to five minutes of activity as you do to an hourlong session (or come up with the same excuses), there’s a good chance that your resistance has more to do with a mental-emotional block than it does with practical time limitations. Notice the thoughts and feelings that surface around your five-minute commitment, and you’ll likely uncover clues to much deeper life patterns.

Ditch the soda. Whether you cut back or cut it out entirely is up to you. Invest in a water bottle or canister you like, and for every can or bottle of soda you eliminate, replace it with water or herbal tea. Flavoring your water with slices of cucumber, lemon or orange, or with a splash of pure fruit juice, will help make the transition easier.

Swap one processed food for a whole-food alternative. Instead of trying to change your entire diet overnight, simply pick one processed or starchy snack or side dish and have a piece of fruit, handful of veggies, or serving of legumes or whole grains in its place. Instead of instant mashed potatoes, go for whole-grain quinoa.
Instead of garlic bread, opt for grilled zucchini. Instead of sour cream ’n’ onion dip, try hummus. Another alternative: Choose a new food each week and incorporate it into a meal.

Big Goal: Spend more quality time with family

Small Starts ...
Give the electronics a break. It’s easy to flip on the TV after work for “just a bit” or log on to the computer “really quick” to check sports scores or stock prices. Before you know it, though, it’s bedtime, and all your valuable time and energy have been sucked into those screens. Commit to a regular electronics-free period that you can reliably spend engaging with loved ones.

Establish a “best moments” ritual. Asking your spouse or kids to recall the best moments of their day is a great way to build positive energy and connections that move beyond the usual conversation topics. Take turns running through your daily high points at the dinner table or just before bed. Or, at breakfast, invite all the members of your family to share the parts of their day they most anticipate.

Resources (Back to Top)
Hungry for more mini-goal ideas? Check out “Last-Chance Victories” in the November/December 2003 archives. Need more help? Try these books and Web sites to help you achieve your goals.

BOOKS
One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer (Workman Publishing, 2004) — The book, based on the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching, provides advice on making change through step-by-step actions.

Small Change: It’s the Little Things in Life That Make a Big Difference by Susan and Larry Terkel (Tarcher, 2004) — Use three simple principles to make small changes over time.

Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy (Random House, 1997)  — Offers tools and advice for homing in on your true calling and taking meaningful action toward pursuing it.

This Year I Will . . . How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True by M. J. Ryan (Broadway, 2006) — Offers practical strategies for overcoming obstacles and defeating negative self-talk.

WEB SITES
www.goalmigo.com — Helps people set, track and share their goals.

www.stickk.com — Created by a professor of economics at Yale, this site lets users create commitment contracts — and back them up with financial incentives — to reach their goals.

www.livedynamite.com — Live Dynamite offers an engaging and energizing approach to stretching yourself, staying on track and reaching your ultimate goals. (For a special deal on Live Dynamite products, visit our Special Offers section.)

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