Survival of the Fittest

[Pull-ups can be scenic.]

Yes, I’m still going on about pull-ups. (Mainly to postpone doing the work I should be concentrating on instead.) But hey, if you’ve grown weary of the topic — if you don’t want to learn how to do this bang-for-your-buck bodyweight exercise better — you’re welcome to leave.

Wait! I didn’t mean it! Please don’t leave. It’s just … wouldn’t it be nicer if we did this together?

[winning smile]

Confession time: In my current state of fitness, I can only do 2.5 pull-ups without assistance. OK, 2.25. In my last post, when I said, “For instance, tuckered after two?” I was talking about myself. Sigh.

A couple years ago, I could do seven, and at the time, I thought that was pretty decent, but now I’ve got to take my old number and double it. Oh, and add one more (see this post for the herstory of this madness).

THE FOLLOWING WORKOUT PROGRAM has been ripped off seven ways from Sunday, so allow me to trace its path so everyone involved gets credit. My friend Liz sent it to me, as her friend Dre had sent it to her. Adam Campbell, editor at Men’s Health, likely wrote about it over there at some point, but by the time we got our grubby mitts on it, the article was posted here on Active.com. The trail doesn’t end there — the technique originated with Michael Mejia, CSCS, former U.S. Navy Seal and author of The Special Ops Workout. (Not to be confused with Mark De Lisle’s Special Ops Fitness Training: High-Intensity Workouts of Navy Seals, Delta Force, Marine Force Recon and Army Rangers.)

Mejia recommends doing the following routine two or three days a week, resting at least a day between sessions. The original copy set the goal at the Rangers’ lofty-enough goal of 12, but I’ve altered it to reflect the U.S. women’s rugby backs’ standard of 15. Because that seems reasonable.

THE SPECIAL OPS’ PULL-UP PLAN
The Goal: 15
The Plan: Take the most pull-ups you can do at one time and divide that number in half. Now perform sets of that number of repetitions — resting 60 seconds after each set — until you’ve done at least 15 pull-ups. Each workout, reduce your rest between sets by 5 seconds, until you’re down to zero rest and able to do 15 consecutive pull-ups.

Pretty simple, really. Hypothetically, say you can do four consecutive pull-ups max. Halve that so you’re doing sets of two with 60 seconds rest in between until you get to — well, 16, because these numbers don’t crunch perfectly. Let’s call it mandatory extra credit. In total, you’ll do eight sets of two. That’s reasonable, right?

And each workout will take less time than the last, which is hugely motivating (to me, anyway). Especially since I’m starting with sets of one, and this thing is going to take me forever at first. Oooh, I’m whiny today, and I think my Door Gym (like the one pictured at right) is mocking me. I guess I should be thankful that a creepy batwoman isn’t hanging on mine. That would be awkward.

IS ANYONE ELSE being haunted by encounters with pull-ups lately? I mean, besides by me. Ha! I can’t seem to escape them, and thus, neither can you. That’s the way this works.

Take, for instance, last night. My friend Kim invited me to do a workout with her at Velocity Sports Performance in Cherry Hill, N.J., and being a sucker for performance gyms, I took her up on the offer. I nearly collapsed after the seemingly extra-dynamic warm-up, but considering there seemed to be no escaping the evil, Justin Timberlake-lookalike trainer, I hung in there — literally.

We ended the hour with three sets of 10 partner pull-ups. (For how to do partner pull-ups, see “Clear the Bar” in the May 2008 issue of Experience Life.) And even as I was thinking, “Whyyyyy?!” I was also thinking, “Why not?” It’s fun to be strong.

As the famed (and eminently quotable) football coach Lou Holtz once said, “When all is said and done, more is said than done.”

Too true, Lou. Sometimes I feel like all I do is think, talk and write about fitness.

But for the past week and a half, even amid more-confluent-than-usual edit deadlines and general busyness, I made my own fitness a priority.

So yeah, I’m “just doing it.” On my way again, official training program in hand. Knock on wood, but I think I’ve gone from a loooong, slow ramp-up to being excited to work out hard again, often. And that feels really satisfying.

What I wasn’t quite prepared for, however, was the disgust I would feel with the current state of my body. And trust me, I know that’s not at all where I should be coming from — I’m chanting every feel-good mantra I can think of, namely, “Start where I am, start where I am, start where I am.” But I was horrified the other night when I replaced my first set’s squat weight in favor of something a bit more … petite.

What I said aloud was, “Totally fine, probably a blessing in disguise. I can start from the ground up and work on perfect form.” What I said inside was, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! I’d already started out with less weight than I used to warm up with!”

During cardio, I felt like I wasn’t entirely in charge of my own body. Or, more accurately, that I wasn’t in charge of my own body in its entirety. Every so often, I would feel … not exactly a jiggle, but perhaps a little wiggle. Whatever it was, it was definitely other, and I couldn’t help but be horrified.

I recall the intimidation of the starting point from other times I’ve reintroduced my bod to a regular fitness regimen after a break, and a month from now, I know I’ll be in a healthier place — physically and emotionally.

But it’s all about how to get to a month from now, isn’t it? Avoiding the essentially pessimistic “back in the day” mindset, a la Al Bundy (pictured above). Figuring out how to make fitness, in some form, a nonnegotiable part of your daily routine.

Sometimes it may take an additional boost to avoid a backslide. And sometimes, just sometimes, you have to get that boost on the cheap.

Last week, Experience Life’s associate editor, Kaeti, asked me for some help researching how those with specific fitness goals are more apt to succeed than those who work out with less direction.

In compiling a few leads, I came across the article “20 Ways to Stick to Your Workout” by Men’s Health features editor Adam Campbell.

While I found myself nodding along to his suggestions about signing up for a race and switching up workout partners, something about the twisted No. 20, “Blackmail Yourself,” also struck a chord. It says:

Take a picture of yourself shirtless, holding a sign that shows your e-mail address. Then e-mail it to a trusted but sadistic friend, with the following instructions: “If I don’t send you a new picture that shows serious improvement in 12 weeks, post this photo at hotornot.com and send the link to the addresses listed below….” (Include as many e-mail addresses — especially of female acquaintances — as possible.) “It’s nasty, but extremely effective,” says Alwyn Cosgrove.

Now, I’m not condoning this as a long-term motivation strategy — using punishment and extrinsic motivators works directly against Experience Life’s “happy, healthy, for-real” message.

I’m not even condoning trying this as a short-term motivator. I’m just saying it’s an intriguing — if rather perverse — suggestion, and for me, even the idea of laying it out there so boldly could provide a kick in the pants, should I need it.

So maybe, to give my motivation zero wiggle-room, I’ll threaten myself with sending that email.